Developmental Stages Of Children's Social Development

Newborn to Eighteen Months - Major Task: Learning to Trust

Cries for needs

Uses senses to learn about the world

Imitates

Explores "who am I and what's me."

Care giver should: Give attention, nurturance, conversation; respond quickly to cries; provide opportunities for the child to explore his world, taste, touch; through your actions, help the child feel that the world is a safe and good place where needs are met with loving care; use crib only for sleeping.

One Year to Mid-Twos - Major Task: Learning Independence

Is curious, messy, affectionate; likes to do things "by myself"; shows emerging independence; bites; has temper tantrums; explores; starts to test limits; gets into everything; begins to talk, run and climb.

Care giver should: Give respect and affection; have patience and a sense of humour; keep limits simple and consistent; avoid setting up power plays over food, sleep, or toilet; offer choices; help balance independence with limits; hold off on toilet training until child shows an interest and you see signs of the next stage; try to reason, but don't expect miracles.

Mid-Twos to Four - Major Task: Learning an Identity

Cooperates; tries hard to please; Learns many new skills; talks a lot; has lots of energy and enjoys noise; develops definite food likes and dislikes but needs less food; shows readiness to use the toilet.

Care giver should: Give affection and respect; have patience and humour; continue to set firm, consistent limits; laugh together, help the child find answers to his/her own questions; discover together.

Mid-Threes to Five - Major Task: Learning an Identity

Is bold, quarrelsome, contrary, full of energy and zest for life; goes from independence to clinging; uses "naughty" words; tells bold stories that may sound like lies; has difficulty sharing or playing cooperatively; learns many new skills and abilities.

Care giver should: Give respect and affection; have understanding and patience; provide outlets and opportunities for all the energy and developing intelligence; continue firm, consistent rules and expectations; accept the testing of limits with a sense of humour; be a model of cooperative behaviour; begin to use reason and logic with the child - more possible as a child nears five.

Mid-Fours to Sixes - Major Task: Learning an Identity

Becomes more cooperative with age; shows lots of energy, wiggling, and giggling; loves to talk about self; can do many things and loves to show them off; has many new fears; still tells tales; may try out taking things that belong to others; tattles and is a poor loser; shows interest in numbers and letters; begins to play cooperatively with others, but disagreements can easily occur.

Care giver should: Give affection, clear directions, and expectations; encourage the child to try new things; provide a variety of activities that allow the child to learn by doing; let the child participate in planning activities and doing small, helpful chores; provide opportunities to show off skills.

Mid-Fives to Eight - Major Task: Learning to be Productive and Successful

Is fair minded; shows off; insists on following rules fairly, often to an extreme; begins to prefer friends of the same sex; frequently finds and loses best friends; likes special projects that feel useful, productive, and grown-up; tests limits with determination.

Care giver should: Give flexibility, affection, respect, and moments of undivided attention; give clear and reasonable limits with opportunities for negotiations; assign simple household duties with reminders; be fair and reasonable; provide opportunities to join organized activities without over scheduling; allow the child to plan personal activities.

Authors as Published

Novella J. Ruffin, Ph.D., Assistant Professor and Extension Child Development Specialist, Virginia State University, Virginia Dept. of Education Licensed School Psychologist and NCSP